Volkswagen has a new commercial for its boring minivan with a made-up word for a name:
So Volkswagen launched a campaign called Punch Dub to encourage people to hit each other upon sight of every Volkswagen, including boring minivans.
Is this really catching on? I'm out of touch with the minivan driving suburban crowd, so I don't know. Either way, it doesn't make any sense to me.
The commercial should have said "The only minivan with the soul of a Volkswagen Beetle."
But then that wouldn't make any sense either.
Because minivans don't have souls.
Showing posts with label Weapons of Mass Consumption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weapons of Mass Consumption. Show all posts
6/29/10
3/13/10
My Introduction to The Landmark Forum
Okay, I’ll go
For the past month or so, a friend of mine had been trying to convince me to attend an introductory meeting for something called The Forum. When I asked him to describe The Forum, his answer was hard to grasp. Apparently, even though he was already fairly happy with his life (and making good money), The Forum helped him realize his unreached potential. He told me that taking it made him a better artist, businessman, and person; that he owed his current successes in his company to The Forum, as well as his being able to establish a civil relationship with his former wife. Upon hearing me tell him that I wasn’t interested in a self help program, he insisted that the Forum is not, absolutely not, a self help program at all. All he wanted me to do was attend an introductory meeting in which I would meet a representative, and if I decided to attend, then I could sign up for the price of $425. I declined to attend. But he continued in his pursuit until ultimately, over a pleasant dinner and a couple of drinks, I graciously, yet grudgingly agreed to attend the next introduction.
I took some time over the next few days to read up on The Forum via the net. What I found was quite interesting: a multimillion dollar company, accusations of cult-like activity, banned from operating in France, complaints of brainwashing, and a close connection to the now debunked est programs from the seventies.
Here are some links to articles and information about The Forum that are much better than mine:
Skeptics:
Inside the Landmark Forum, Karin Badt
The Landmark Forum: 42 Hours, $500, 65 Breakdowns
Supporters:
Investigation: is the Landmark Forum a cult?
The Landmark Website
What is left unsaid?
So I would guess that if you are the skeptical type, then the top two links will appeal to you, and if you are the Chicken Soup for the Soul type, then you fancy the bottom two links. Either way, all of them conspicuously omit some aspects of The Forum. The skeptics either neglect to mention progress made by other Forum takers, or, if it is mentioned, it is done in a way that implies their gullibility. The writer for the Guardian who came out in support of The Forum fails to mention the large chunk of the seminar that is dedicated to indoctrinating its students with the desire to sell it to their friends and family. So who is right? Generally, I will usually side with the skeptics, and this is no exception.
Volunteering? Really?
Those who had a good experience with The Forum, such as my friend and his family, would never admit that they are actually selling it to their friends, but instead say that they are trying to share something life changing, something important and inconceivable until it is experienced. Sound familiar? It should if you have ever been courted by a religion or a cult. You would think that The Forum is Jesus from the way that its participants speak of it. It seems like The Forum uses the same selling tactic as some religions, which is to convince their customers that their product, enlightenment, is completely unobtainable except through them. Quite evangelical.
Participants in The Forum are so dedicated that they volunteer their time to help it gain new customers. I can’t understand why they would do this. They are basically working for free to make money for other people. Landmark Education, the company that owns The Forum, is a for-profit company. Like all other companies, they only care about their bottom line. That is not to say that those who volunteer are trying on purpose to make money for this company. They must believe that they are spreading good news and helping other people. Maybe they are. But, as a consequence of their good intentions, an international multimillion dollar company is making tons of cash.
Think of the children!
A remarkable and somewhat deplorable development in Landmark Education’s seminars is their offering of classes to teenagers and children. Given how The Forum’s participants are indoctrinated with the evangelical tendency to convert their friends and family, it makes good business sense to offer classes to their kids, as kids can not decide for themselves whether they should take it or not. Their parents will most certainly enroll them. Strangely, Landmark’s website notes that for parents to register their children for the 8 – 12 year old sessions, the child must chose attend on their own. This is preposterous, of course, as no child would even be aware of, let alone want to attend The Forum unless brought in to it by their parents. I have never met anybody whose children have attended the program, so I will not make any assumptions about whether they receive the same “hard sell” that their parents did. I won’t pretend that I’m even remotely concerned for the kids themselves. I’m not one of those “won’t somebody think of the children!” assholes that you see clogging up the news. I merely want state the opinion that offering a self-help program of this nature to children is absurd, and the only people who will not think it absurd are those who have already attended The Forum. Luckily, Forum initiates who can’t wait to get their family and friends involved can enroll their own children for $400 - $500 dollars, each.
Alas, I won’t go
So, armed with all of this information, I attended my introduction prepared to receive the “hard sell” that I had read so much about. What I actually got was a warm and friendly reception by my friend and a Landmark volunteer. We chatted and had coffee before going into the benefits of the Forum. The ordeal lasted a few hours, throughout which the Landmark volunteer spoke with me using a combination of her personal experiences and an obvious script. We made a list of parts of my life that were working and parts that were not. Every life could be better, so when I talked to her about how I wanted to improve my life, I made it clear that I was already comfortable with how I was handling my issues. My personality type is one that is quick to deal with hurtles and patient in doing so. I get along with all of my family and friends. I have a healthy romantic relationship. I am well aware of my foibles and have clear approachable goals for my future. To put it bluntly, I lead an enjoyable, low stress, and happy life. Even parts of my life that could be better are still pretty good. Keeping that in mind, I simply could not see any immediate benefit to attending The Forum. I imagine that these kinds of introductions might appeal to those who are confused or perhaps just to those who feel like they are missing something that they can’t quite finger. These people, who may be in a vulnerable point in their lives, must be Landmark’s bread and butter. When my volunteer realized that I was satisfied with what I had, she shifted the focus of The Forum from the realm of what we know to the realm of possibility. I might think that I am happy and that I have everything I need, but I don’t know what else is out there that I don’t even know I want. The Forum will help me discover this…new possibility. I wasn’t buying it. I like having things in front of me. If I am going to pay hundreds of dollars for something, I want a clear physical benefit. The idea of paying for possibility seemed absurd to me. Possibility is free. It’s effing free.
Free.
Ultimately, I turned down their invitation to purchase my attendance at a seminar. They graciously accepted my answer and thanked me for attending.
Certainly not me
So, does Landmark Education deserve all of its controversy? I still don’t know, and doubt I ever will. I never attended one it its seminars nor do I see myself doing it in the future. The Forum, however life changing it may actually be, is clearly a self-help program that uses questionable selling tactics. The product? Enlightenment and freedom. The cost? $425. There are many out there who would pay millions for what The Forum is offering. But certainly not me. I’m not saying that I’m enlightened or that I’ve reached my full potential. But I’ll venture that I can get there even with a Forum-free life.
For the past month or so, a friend of mine had been trying to convince me to attend an introductory meeting for something called The Forum. When I asked him to describe The Forum, his answer was hard to grasp. Apparently, even though he was already fairly happy with his life (and making good money), The Forum helped him realize his unreached potential. He told me that taking it made him a better artist, businessman, and person; that he owed his current successes in his company to The Forum, as well as his being able to establish a civil relationship with his former wife. Upon hearing me tell him that I wasn’t interested in a self help program, he insisted that the Forum is not, absolutely not, a self help program at all. All he wanted me to do was attend an introductory meeting in which I would meet a representative, and if I decided to attend, then I could sign up for the price of $425. I declined to attend. But he continued in his pursuit until ultimately, over a pleasant dinner and a couple of drinks, I graciously, yet grudgingly agreed to attend the next introduction.
I took some time over the next few days to read up on The Forum via the net. What I found was quite interesting: a multimillion dollar company, accusations of cult-like activity, banned from operating in France, complaints of brainwashing, and a close connection to the now debunked est programs from the seventies.
Here are some links to articles and information about The Forum that are much better than mine:
Skeptics:
Inside the Landmark Forum, Karin Badt
The Landmark Forum: 42 Hours, $500, 65 Breakdowns
Supporters:
Investigation: is the Landmark Forum a cult?
The Landmark Website
What is left unsaid?
So I would guess that if you are the skeptical type, then the top two links will appeal to you, and if you are the Chicken Soup for the Soul type, then you fancy the bottom two links. Either way, all of them conspicuously omit some aspects of The Forum. The skeptics either neglect to mention progress made by other Forum takers, or, if it is mentioned, it is done in a way that implies their gullibility. The writer for the Guardian who came out in support of The Forum fails to mention the large chunk of the seminar that is dedicated to indoctrinating its students with the desire to sell it to their friends and family. So who is right? Generally, I will usually side with the skeptics, and this is no exception.
Volunteering? Really?
Those who had a good experience with The Forum, such as my friend and his family, would never admit that they are actually selling it to their friends, but instead say that they are trying to share something life changing, something important and inconceivable until it is experienced. Sound familiar? It should if you have ever been courted by a religion or a cult. You would think that The Forum is Jesus from the way that its participants speak of it. It seems like The Forum uses the same selling tactic as some religions, which is to convince their customers that their product, enlightenment, is completely unobtainable except through them. Quite evangelical.
Participants in The Forum are so dedicated that they volunteer their time to help it gain new customers. I can’t understand why they would do this. They are basically working for free to make money for other people. Landmark Education, the company that owns The Forum, is a for-profit company. Like all other companies, they only care about their bottom line. That is not to say that those who volunteer are trying on purpose to make money for this company. They must believe that they are spreading good news and helping other people. Maybe they are. But, as a consequence of their good intentions, an international multimillion dollar company is making tons of cash.
Think of the children!
A remarkable and somewhat deplorable development in Landmark Education’s seminars is their offering of classes to teenagers and children. Given how The Forum’s participants are indoctrinated with the evangelical tendency to convert their friends and family, it makes good business sense to offer classes to their kids, as kids can not decide for themselves whether they should take it or not. Their parents will most certainly enroll them. Strangely, Landmark’s website notes that for parents to register their children for the 8 – 12 year old sessions, the child must chose attend on their own. This is preposterous, of course, as no child would even be aware of, let alone want to attend The Forum unless brought in to it by their parents. I have never met anybody whose children have attended the program, so I will not make any assumptions about whether they receive the same “hard sell” that their parents did. I won’t pretend that I’m even remotely concerned for the kids themselves. I’m not one of those “won’t somebody think of the children!” assholes that you see clogging up the news. I merely want state the opinion that offering a self-help program of this nature to children is absurd, and the only people who will not think it absurd are those who have already attended The Forum. Luckily, Forum initiates who can’t wait to get their family and friends involved can enroll their own children for $400 - $500 dollars, each.
Alas, I won’t go
So, armed with all of this information, I attended my introduction prepared to receive the “hard sell” that I had read so much about. What I actually got was a warm and friendly reception by my friend and a Landmark volunteer. We chatted and had coffee before going into the benefits of the Forum. The ordeal lasted a few hours, throughout which the Landmark volunteer spoke with me using a combination of her personal experiences and an obvious script. We made a list of parts of my life that were working and parts that were not. Every life could be better, so when I talked to her about how I wanted to improve my life, I made it clear that I was already comfortable with how I was handling my issues. My personality type is one that is quick to deal with hurtles and patient in doing so. I get along with all of my family and friends. I have a healthy romantic relationship. I am well aware of my foibles and have clear approachable goals for my future. To put it bluntly, I lead an enjoyable, low stress, and happy life. Even parts of my life that could be better are still pretty good. Keeping that in mind, I simply could not see any immediate benefit to attending The Forum. I imagine that these kinds of introductions might appeal to those who are confused or perhaps just to those who feel like they are missing something that they can’t quite finger. These people, who may be in a vulnerable point in their lives, must be Landmark’s bread and butter. When my volunteer realized that I was satisfied with what I had, she shifted the focus of The Forum from the realm of what we know to the realm of possibility. I might think that I am happy and that I have everything I need, but I don’t know what else is out there that I don’t even know I want. The Forum will help me discover this…new possibility. I wasn’t buying it. I like having things in front of me. If I am going to pay hundreds of dollars for something, I want a clear physical benefit. The idea of paying for possibility seemed absurd to me. Possibility is free. It’s effing free.
Free.
Ultimately, I turned down their invitation to purchase my attendance at a seminar. They graciously accepted my answer and thanked me for attending.
Certainly not me
So, does Landmark Education deserve all of its controversy? I still don’t know, and doubt I ever will. I never attended one it its seminars nor do I see myself doing it in the future. The Forum, however life changing it may actually be, is clearly a self-help program that uses questionable selling tactics. The product? Enlightenment and freedom. The cost? $425. There are many out there who would pay millions for what The Forum is offering. But certainly not me. I’m not saying that I’m enlightened or that I’ve reached my full potential. But I’ll venture that I can get there even with a Forum-free life.
12/16/09
My 5 Least Favorite Trends in Gaming
*This post was featured in the community spotlight on ScrewAttack.com!!*
5. Waggle
I know this is a recent trend, but Wii developers need to stop making us shake the Wii remote. It is not accurate or enjoyable. I don’t want to waggle to make Link swing his sword. I don’t want to waggle to make Mario spin jump. And I especially don’t want to waggle to throw grenades in Metal Slug. Unless the controls of the game are specifically and adequately designed to imitate the action that your character is doing (see: Wii Sports titles, Zack and Wiki, Silent Hill Shattered Memories etc), I don’t want to waggle the Wii remote to do something that can be done by a simple button press. Just because the option is there does not mean that it has to be used. Waggling causes a brief loss of play control that is unacceptable to most gamers. It’s also just plain annoying.
4. Final Fantasy Minigames
This is Sphere Break. It's about as fun as it looks.
Let’s set the record straight. Snowboarding in FF7 rocked. It was an excellent change of pace to a game that is primarily controlled through navigating menus. FF7 got it right. Chocobo races? Yes please! Then FF8 arrived and what was the minigame? Triple Triad: an ultra boring card game that was difficult to understand and hard to play. Then came FF9 with Tetra Master. Ugh. Now, I understand how developers could think that RPG gamers might enjoy a card battle game. I used to play Magic the Gathering myself when I was a kid. But if you are going to insert a minigame to break up the gameplay of an RPG that is primarily based on menu navigation, inventory control, and statistical analysis, then I would rather it be a fast paced diversion. A card game? More menus, inventory control, and statistical analysis? Pfft! I’ve already got 60+ hours of stuff to do here. Of course, nothing was worse than FF10’s Blitzball minigame. What a missed opportunity! What could have been a fun and fast-paced arcade style sports game played like a math quiz! Then came Sphere break with FFX-2 and it literally was a math quiz. Sounds like fun, huh?
These days, when a Sonic game is released, the gaming community rolls their collective eyes with the same dismissive air that is usually reserved for the latest Mario Party. The problem with this is that we shouldn’t have to feel this way about our beloved hedgehog. Our expectations should be high for the rodent, but a slew of past failures have forced us to see Sonic as the boy who cries wolf. Sonic’s problems can be reduced to the fact that he never evolved with the gaming community. A prisoner of his own “attitude,” Sonic’s character has become completely irrelevant to the generation of gamers who grew up with him. To make matters worse, the gameplay of current Sonic releases does not cater to the nostalgia of these older gamers. New games in the franchise just don’t play like the old ones. I suppose Sonic’s developers still think that gamers want a feisty animal mascot with loads of ‘tude. We don’t. So now Sonic is reduced to being a second rate children’s title. It’s sad.
2. Water Levels
Big heavy boots = fun?
Who can forget cursing as you swim through toxic seaweed to disarm bombs in TMNT for the NES? Or screaming as you die just out of reach of an air bubble in Sonic the Hedgehog? Water levels are often some of the most frustrating and boring levels in gaming. Why? Because water levels usually equate to less responsive control and slower gameplay. Moreover, water levels have become an overused cliché in most adventure/RPG’s. Particularly awful is the water temple in Ocarina of Time, where you have to adjust the depth of the water to proceed. What could make that even more boring? How about giving Link boots made of steel so that he can slowly walk around the bottom of the water! Why do game designers keep creating levels with this type of puzzle? Either way, I know for a fact that the next time I pop an RPG into my console, I’ll eventually have to cast lightning on everything when I get to the water level. Can we get some new ideas here?
1. Slowly Pushing Heavy Blocks
Be it a statue, giant crossbow, or an actual huge cube-shaped block, pushing heavy objects slows the game down gameplay so much that puzzles which require this are more of an exercise of patience than of problem-solving skills. Yet many of the best games, even the best of the best, from every console generation will make you take a break from some awesome gameplay and endure the tedium of pushing some blocks around. Zelda, Resident Evil, Tomb Raider, and God of War and countless other games are guilty of this offense. So basically, we have some incredible game developers who still believe that gamers actually enjoy pushing the block over to where it will activate the switch that will open the door up on the ledge that we can’t reach unless we push another block! Ugh. I wonder if game designers just like rearranging their furniture. They probably all go home every day and push their sofa toward the bookshelf. Then push the bookshelf into the corner. Then push their dresser onto the switch that unlocks their pantry. Then they push their washing machine toward the pantry so they can reach the crushed red pepper on the top shelf. Art imitating life, right?
**Update**
(Response to the Screwattack community)
Wow! I didn't realize that so many people enjoyed blitzball and the card games! Cool. Anyway, Nailattack made a valid point that I wanted to address: "if you wanted that then why are you playing an RPG?"
Well, I'm actually not a huge fan of arcade style sports games. RPG's are usually my favorite games. (Currently playing Demon's Souls.) I think that I was initially turned off by Blitzball because it wasn't a big departure from the standard gameplay of FF10. Don't get me wrong, I loved the gameplay, but (and I may have been spoiled by FF7) I enjoy when minigames act as a quick and enjoyable diversion from the long hours of RPGing. Things like blitzball and the card games required me to take too much time away from playing the actual game and progressing the story. However, given how much support the community has for these games, I believe that I may have been quick to judge. I think I might give blitzball another chance the next time I play through. I'll just try to look at it as its own game. Anyway, I appreciate all the feedback.
P.S. To those who think that pushing blocks is a necessary part of gaming, I point to Uncharted 2, which, if I remember correctly, didn't require any block pushing whatsoever! Now that is a game with great pacing!
Thanks for the comments everybody! keep them coming. I want to know what you think!
5. Waggle
Waggle practically ruined this game.
I know this is a recent trend, but Wii developers need to stop making us shake the Wii remote. It is not accurate or enjoyable. I don’t want to waggle to make Link swing his sword. I don’t want to waggle to make Mario spin jump. And I especially don’t want to waggle to throw grenades in Metal Slug. Unless the controls of the game are specifically and adequately designed to imitate the action that your character is doing (see: Wii Sports titles, Zack and Wiki, Silent Hill Shattered Memories etc), I don’t want to waggle the Wii remote to do something that can be done by a simple button press. Just because the option is there does not mean that it has to be used. Waggling causes a brief loss of play control that is unacceptable to most gamers. It’s also just plain annoying.4. Final Fantasy Minigames
This is Sphere Break. It's about as fun as it looks.
Let’s set the record straight. Snowboarding in FF7 rocked. It was an excellent change of pace to a game that is primarily controlled through navigating menus. FF7 got it right. Chocobo races? Yes please! Then FF8 arrived and what was the minigame? Triple Triad: an ultra boring card game that was difficult to understand and hard to play. Then came FF9 with Tetra Master. Ugh. Now, I understand how developers could think that RPG gamers might enjoy a card battle game. I used to play Magic the Gathering myself when I was a kid. But if you are going to insert a minigame to break up the gameplay of an RPG that is primarily based on menu navigation, inventory control, and statistical analysis, then I would rather it be a fast paced diversion. A card game? More menus, inventory control, and statistical analysis? Pfft! I’ve already got 60+ hours of stuff to do here. Of course, nothing was worse than FF10’s Blitzball minigame. What a missed opportunity! What could have been a fun and fast-paced arcade style sports game played like a math quiz! Then came Sphere break with FFX-2 and it literally was a math quiz. Sounds like fun, huh?3. Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic and the Stupid Gimmick.
2. Water Levels
Big heavy boots = fun?
Who can forget cursing as you swim through toxic seaweed to disarm bombs in TMNT for the NES? Or screaming as you die just out of reach of an air bubble in Sonic the Hedgehog? Water levels are often some of the most frustrating and boring levels in gaming. Why? Because water levels usually equate to less responsive control and slower gameplay. Moreover, water levels have become an overused cliché in most adventure/RPG’s. Particularly awful is the water temple in Ocarina of Time, where you have to adjust the depth of the water to proceed. What could make that even more boring? How about giving Link boots made of steel so that he can slowly walk around the bottom of the water! Why do game designers keep creating levels with this type of puzzle? Either way, I know for a fact that the next time I pop an RPG into my console, I’ll eventually have to cast lightning on everything when I get to the water level. Can we get some new ideas here?1. Slowly Pushing Heavy Blocks
Can't Kratos push these things faster? So. Slow.
**Update**
(Response to the Screwattack community)
Wow! I didn't realize that so many people enjoyed blitzball and the card games! Cool. Anyway, Nailattack made a valid point that I wanted to address: "if you wanted that then why are you playing an RPG?"
Well, I'm actually not a huge fan of arcade style sports games. RPG's are usually my favorite games. (Currently playing Demon's Souls.) I think that I was initially turned off by Blitzball because it wasn't a big departure from the standard gameplay of FF10. Don't get me wrong, I loved the gameplay, but (and I may have been spoiled by FF7) I enjoy when minigames act as a quick and enjoyable diversion from the long hours of RPGing. Things like blitzball and the card games required me to take too much time away from playing the actual game and progressing the story. However, given how much support the community has for these games, I believe that I may have been quick to judge. I think I might give blitzball another chance the next time I play through. I'll just try to look at it as its own game. Anyway, I appreciate all the feedback.
P.S. To those who think that pushing blocks is a necessary part of gaming, I point to Uncharted 2, which, if I remember correctly, didn't require any block pushing whatsoever! Now that is a game with great pacing!
Thanks for the comments everybody! keep them coming. I want to know what you think!
7/11/09
Joose it up!
JOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!
What can I say? I'm a marketing whore, and though I don't think that Joose was target marketed to guys like me, I still couldn't resist the appeal of a drink that promised a whopping 9.9% alcohol content. Juice it up!
I wasn't expecting much. Though, at the time, I did not know that Joose is an energy drink/malt liquor beverage...thing. I thought it was booze only, without the energy. It tasted like sweet tarts mixed with cough syrup. I couldn't swallow it. Also, upon spitting the terrible tasting drink (I bought the Jungle Joose flavor) into my kitchen sink, I discovered that it was bright green in color. Fucking gross. I guess it is supposed to look like candy, or MD 20/20.
After brushing my teeth, I checked out the Joose website, jammed out the the Joose Player, looked at some "Joosen" party people, and came to the conclusion that I couln't ever have that time back. Or my money.
(Sigh) Looks like the only thing I'll be "Joosen" up are my massive pecks.
5/3/09
Porn Star Chicken Sanwiches
Remember when McDonald's was trying to appeal to the health conscious with this load of bullshit?
Of course the "Go Active" campaign failed, because nobody could possibly believe that McDonald's actually gave a good god damn about fitness. Meanwhile, unused pedometers fell into the sticky linings of countless couches.
Meet Micky D's new mascot, The Dollar Menunaire:
********(Click the image to enlarge)*******
So basically the Dollar Menunaire is a an stupid slob who doesn't have any money, which is, as I see it, the most honest ad campaign that McDonald's has ever conceived.
No, they are not going after your kids. No, they don't want you to be healthy. With the Dollar Menunaire, McDonald's has created their ideal customer, a fucking moron. It's like they are saying, "hey fat fuck, this shit is for you and it is CHEAP!"
Though one could easily be offended by how McDonalds characterises consumers, I have to admit, I appreciate their honesty.
And the salad in the background? Old habits die hard I guess.
Oh, and one more thing, doesn't Mr. Menunaire look a lot like Ron Jeremy?
Nice touch, McDonald's.
Of course the "Go Active" campaign failed, because nobody could possibly believe that McDonald's actually gave a good god damn about fitness. Meanwhile, unused pedometers fell into the sticky linings of countless couches.Meet Micky D's new mascot, The Dollar Menunaire:
********(Click the image to enlarge)*******So basically the Dollar Menunaire is a an stupid slob who doesn't have any money, which is, as I see it, the most honest ad campaign that McDonald's has ever conceived.
No, they are not going after your kids. No, they don't want you to be healthy. With the Dollar Menunaire, McDonald's has created their ideal customer, a fucking moron. It's like they are saying, "hey fat fuck, this shit is for you and it is CHEAP!"
Though one could easily be offended by how McDonalds characterises consumers, I have to admit, I appreciate their honesty.
And the salad in the background? Old habits die hard I guess.
Oh, and one more thing, doesn't Mr. Menunaire look a lot like Ron Jeremy?
Nice touch, McDonald's.
4/23/09
Would You Rather Spit or Swallow?
Hey class act!
Are you craving you nico-fix, but worried that cigarettes are losing their cool?
Do you love to chew, but are sick of having to hide your blackened saliva in empty Coke cans and potted plants?
Well now you can buy a product that will discreetly infuse nicotine into your bloodstream while flavoring your spit at the same time!
-One can definitely understand the need for a product that makes the act of feeding a nicotine addiction more secretive and less smelly and gross. However, this product is nothing more than flavored spit. Fucking tacky. Smokers will just stick to smoking.
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