I live on the outskirts
In the servant houses
Of the rich
With my one good suit
Gripping a Bordeaux
Gaping at the opulence
Across the window
Looking in
Like Fitzgerald
Not having
In weakness wanting
Through windshield glass
For a prize worth taking
Breaking a barrier
Barring the wealth
Thinking of dealing
To make a living
Without stealing
Ineffectual Intellectual
With a nametag
And wet dynamite
Beneath my ribcage
A library card
And a mouth of pulled
A crook
Guilty of being
More free than free
Brave with failure
And unsatisfied
With the opulence
Across the window

Shopping At Wallmart

I can’t afford not to be here,
Among the morbidly obese,
Hobbling down the aisles
With their fat children,
Who know no better
Than the deer hunters,
The patriots,
Stockpiling rifles,
Pistols and canned foods,
To protect themselves
From me.


Stephen Paul Skinner

Our new 2010 Trucks have heated steering wheels. That's right. Your ultra sensitive truck driving hands will never have to feel the icy sting of the wheel again. If you read about the history of Chrysler from their perspective, you will learn that Chrysler has patented more innovations that Ford and GMC combined. Things like heated steering wheels are, in my opinion, along the same line as bacon flavored mayonnaise, useless, excessive, and utterly American.

Our new sales guy has been in the car business for years. When I ask him if he could change his name to any other than the one he has, he tells it would be Stephen Paul Skinner. He scratches his freckled bald head, puts his mouth to a make shift blowgun and *pops* a stray balloon at the ceiling. "Push pins," he says, utterly delighted with himself. "It shoots push pins. Do you got any?" When I ask him why he chose that name, he tells me that his birth mother gave him that name before she put him up for adoption. She didn't want his birth certificate to not have a name. It was eventually changed by his adopted parents, and he learned his original name years later.

Stephen Paul Skinner.

His one link to his mother. Three proper nouns. They give cause to wonder. Stephen Paul Skinner loads up another push pin and *pop* goes another balloon. The phone calls are flooding in. Customers are looking to get their vehicles fixed, looking to complain, every once in a while one will want to buy a new vehicle. Something that is reliable, affordable, and gets good gas mileage. Most of them won't be able to afford anything, which shouldn't come as a surprise in this economy. This is a time for cutbacks. HEB brand groceries and cheap toilet paper. But if any of you need a heated steering wheel in your giant-ass pick up truck, I have one question for you.



Snap into a bad romance!

Okay, I'll admit it. I love the new Lady Gaga video. Huge news in Gaga Land everybody! Is Lady Gaga the new Slim Jim mascot? Macho Man would be proud.